Bite sized truths.

Oh boy. What a day! It has been a rather intense weekend for me. I hosted a wedding shower for my lovely sister Melinda today and getting my house presentable was WAY more work than it should have been. Plus it was intimidating. I know better than to compare myself, my house and my situation to others, but sometimes it is hard to fight the urge. But I've had this lesson drilled into my head repeatedly lately, we all have gifts and and we all have weaknesses, we all bring something important and valuable to the table. I just need to remember that and live my best life and try to stay away from the comparing. It's just way too destructive.

I had some wonderful chats with many family and friends today and boy, oh boy, does that make the work and stress worth it. I love seeing my loved ones and being able to catch up on their lives. To share in their joys and their sorrows. I'm seeing more and more the importance of being honest and being yourself. I think sometimes we hide parts of ourselves that in reality we should share with others as it fosters a feeling of understanding and love. No one is perfect. The quest to appear perfect robs us of the ability to learn, grow, and gain strength from each other. It's so wonderful to connect with others and learn things that you might not have known before. It make the world feel much less lonely and more hopeful.

I'm so tired right now that I can barely string a sentence together. But tonight, I am very grateful for the people in my life. I have the sweetest, most patient, loving, helpful husband in the world. I'm sooooo lucky to have him. So blessed. My children everyday amaze me with what delightful, good, funny people they are. And I have friends and family who teach me such valuable lessons that I feel so grateful to have them in my life. Just feeling very at peace, very thankful. Life is pretty darned okay right now. :-)

The Blehs

Bleh. It's been a long time since I updated. I've been busy, but probably not SO busy that I couldn't have written. It's probably that I've chosen to waste time on facebook playing farming and cooking games, which is weird because I neither farm nor like to cook.

My kids keep me busy, but lately I've just felt overwhelmed. My house is doomed. Our carpet is EASILY 25 years old, but it looked pretty much new when we moved in. I don't know how such a thing is even POSSIBLE!!! And let me just say, it doesn't look new anymore. Poor thing. I've threatened to pull it all up and just throw down hay. It would be more appropriate to our household at times.

I look at my house and the compare (the dreaded "c" word) our decor to others our age and I've decided I have no sense of style. We still look like poor college kids. I've been thinking about painting for MONTHS but have jumped around several times on what to do. I'm clueless on this stuff. I see other homes, and I know what I like and what I don't like, but to come up with something myself... it's pathetic.

AND... (since I'm complaining) .... the weather just won't warm up!!!! I'm so tired of snow and gray. April showers brings May flowers... FINE, but it's MAY!!! I want to plant my garden and the soil is to wet and my plants would probably freeze anyway. *sigh*

What a pity party. Good things, good things. Let's think positively. Meh. I'm just not in the mood for it today. I'm usually pretty much 100% optimistic. Maybe I'll just wallow today.

Summer 2009

How I spent my summer vacation.

By Amy Ogilvie

My best friend came to visit me, not once, but TWICE!!! I love my Mel!

I looked at A LOT of houses. This the wall paper the the bathroom of one. No, this isn't the house we picked. ;-)

Russ' sister and her family moved back to Utah!!! Morgan and Katie are best of friends! I'm so glad they are closer, so they can spend more time together.

Our dear friend Alexandra, and her beautiful daughter Nylah moved back to Logan, so we've gotten to spend a lot of time together! It's been SO fabulous!!!

We had some cookouts, like this one in Bear Lake at the in laws house! :-)

Hiked Limber Pine with the family a few times.

Had a visit from Russ' brother Dennis, his wife Amber and their 2 ADORABLE children!

Went to Disneyland!

And nerded it up at BlizzCon!

It's been a fun and full summer! I'm sorry to see it go, but I'm excited for what the coming year has to bring. We are moving into a new house this weekend and we've all gone back to school. Life is good. I'm truly a blessed lady. :-)

Team Jacob anyone?

Another reason I'm team Jacob!

Shameless thievery

I saw this on Kristy's blog and I just had to post it here! Too funny. Go Team Jacob!!!

I've been watching the casting and filming updates for 'New Moon' and I'm SO excited!!!!! Though that might bode ill for me, since I wasn't excited for the first movie at all and ended up loving it. Hmmm.....


EDIT: Found two more here ----> http://lucylou.livejournal.com/566295.html

They are a little naughty, and don't read them if you haven't red the books and have any desire to do so (in other words ***** Spoiler Alert******) but I really laughed at the Breaking Dawn recap.

A discourse about politics... and being a Thatcher.

*Notice* The statements and opinions made in this blog entry are solely the views and opinions of the author. No harm or criticism is intended, even if it seems to be implied.

I'm coming to realize something. Something I knew a long time ago, but forgot this past year. I hate politics. Now this might surprise some of you given some of my debates and discussions with you, but it's true. I get so worn down by debating and fighting and picking sides. BLEH! I want to like everyone. I want to live and let live. Can't we all just get along? Or is asking that a trait of a bleeding heart liberal?

What brings about this self-reflection you ask? Well, first I don't like feeling as if I've hurt, or offended others. I know it doesn't bother some, but it does me. I like a good snark as well as the next gal, but snark isn't my natural state. My natural state is that of the big sister. The shoulder to cry on. The listening ear. I hate being the one who goes on a rant about this or that policy, or political or radio or television figure. So I like Obama. I know most of you think he's the anti-Christ, but I just find him likable, and many other positive attributes that I'll refrain from listing. BUT I just read an article my cousin Robbie sent me about Rush Limbaugh, and guess what? It made me understand the man a little more. I'm not suddenly flipping sides and agreeing with the things he says, but my boiling loathing eased a bit. I saw his humanity. Where he's coming from. The talent he possesses to do what he does. It impressed me, I admit.

I guess it's the hallmark of naivety, but I would love it if politics didn't have the bite and negativity it does. It makes me feel sick inside. I know people think I'm crazy for feeling the way I do. That somewhere I must have lost my way. But honestly, I feel it is my ability to look at someone and try to walk a mile in their shoes that has brought me to my current beliefs; right or wrong. Constantly questioning myself and why I believe what I do. And in dealing with opposing views I've thought long and hard about what makes people have the political leanings they do. Where they are coming from, where they are headed and how that affects their politics.

I'm sure having an atheist husband might color my thoughts about how others outside my belief system view the world. It has taught me that just because I wholeheartedly believe one way, it doesn't negate or deny the right of another to exercise that same freedom to believe as they choose. It is a golden rule type of situation. I want those of other beliefs to treat me with dignity and respect, and because of this, I MUST afford them the same respect. And isn't example is the best way to teach those principles I hold dear? But by debating my politics am I showing what I believe by example? No. I'm just at loggerheads with people I love.

One problem I'm facing is the discussion of politics is some of the only contact I've had with some of my family since we were children. The only thing that makes me interesting to them is my political affiliation. It sets me and my sisters apart from the Thatcher throng. I mean, we're the odd ones. We didn't live on the farm, we were entirely too emotional to be tolerated and we just didn't quite “fit” in the family. Or that's how I've felt a lot of the time. I'm intensely proud to be a Thatcher though. I think it's something that comes from having your name blazed across the front page of the local news paper in big, bold letters, “THATCHER'S SUE THE COUNTY.” It felt like we really had to band together. Us verses them. We're stick to our guns kind of people. And you know, I'm proud of my family and the things they have accomplished. Though I wonder how I got none of those brassy, go out there and take the world by the horns genes. I do think I got the Thatcher love of conversation and discussion. And we have an acute curiosity about the world and love of travel. Or that's something I've observed. We're also deeply passionate. I got that trait. I like that trait.

But we can also be bullheaded and egotistical. *ouch* Prone to bragging, pride and condescension. *double ouch* We are also prone to generalizing complexities... which is what I just did. My main purpose in pointing that out is because they are truly MY faults and weaknesses in this matter. They are what have brought me here, at 3:30 in the morning reflecting on my comments and why I even care enough to continue debating.

I'll tell you why. Because I'm too stubborn and too proud to be silent. Because I think know my stuff and I enjoy saying it in a way that makes my immediate family laugh for days. Perhaps this is how to win friends and influence people, but it's like Rex says in Toy Story, “I was going for fearsome, but I don't think I'm coming across. I'm afraid I'm just coming off as annoying.” That the family is just looking at me, shaking their head saying, “Jackass.” I guess I also view it as an un-Thatcher-istic trait to even care what they think. *sigh*

The real question is, even with this realization, that at my core I hate this, I won't be able to resist the lure of the debate. Can I abide standing silent when I profusely disagree with something? Or will the draw be too seductive. The conversation too appealing. The argument too easy to make? Is it even possible for me to give it up cold turkey?

And round and round we go. It's brutal and ugly, and who wins? I haven't seen a winner yet. Each side thinks they do, but how do you win if you continue to run round and round the mulberry bush? No one ever changes their mind, we just think the other is, at best, deluded. At worst judged as misled, or even wicked. That really lights my fire and gets me riled. But that just illustrates that I'm just a big baby and don't like people thinking less of me because of who I voted for. I'm still me. I'm still a good person.

I'm confident that our current political system won't be kept when the Savior returns. We won't be divided into Democrat and Republican. I'd be willing to guess there would be parts of each party's philosophy incorporated, but the sting and bite would be gone. Wouldn't that be wonderful? But of course it's simpler to unite when the Savior is at the head of things. All we have now are imperfect men and women, with imperfect ideas, imperfect implementation, and an imperfect world. Man, it would be nice if we could take the greed and pride and ambition out of all of that. We'd sure be better off, wouldn't we?

So, I hate politics. I hate always having my dukes up, being more than willing to throw that last punch and possibly even kick 'em when their down. It makes the bile rise in my throat. At times it even makes me want to cry, but I've always been too emotional like that.

Guess I should probably update...

Because I have to have a picture and since Jonathan Rhys Meyers is better looking than the real Henry. It's relevant! It really is!

***

For someone who loves writing you would think it wouldn't be so blasted hard to update a measly little blog. Well, I at least love the IDEA of writing. I don't know if I've really actually loved writing for writings sake since my livejournal days which overlaps with my Reformation Britain History days at Utah State. Odd that the class covering my favorite period and place in history would diminish my love of writing. Preparedness was key. I'm not what you would call a prepared person. Now my friend Melanie, SHE'S prepared. I swear she always has everything she'll ever possibly need at arms reach wherever we go. Not me. I just mooch off her. Too bad she lives in Vegas. :-/

Anyway, during Reformation Britain we had to write a paper a week based on 1 of 3 topics covering in class that week. Upon learning this I thought, "YAY!!! I'm GOOD at writing! AND this is my favorite period in history! How hard can it be?" I thought I was in heaven! Then classes actually started. It took an insane amount of research and preparedness to write a flipping paper a week!!! It was absolutely exhausting! On top of that I didn't just get to write about the Henry VIII and his six wives and children. My history professor had some crazy notion that there were other factors involved in the reformation... whatever. So here I am reliving that angst and horror to explain why I put off updating my blog. And ya know? It's so difficult to make an interesting blog entry of, "went to work today. cleaned. changed diapers. made lunches. spent a ghastly amount of time on facebook. had dinner. got the kids to bed. went to bed. rinse and repeat." I know after sharing those tasty morsels I'll be receiving many requests for updates like THAT!

You know, I'm sure there are plenty of things around me that I could happily blog about that might prove interesting, but the problem is that interesting and controversial seem to go hand in hand. And controversial has a habit of biting me right on my chubby rear end. Like this whole "I'm a democrat" thing I've got going on. Sure, I'm being true to myself and what I personally believe, but now I'm under a constant barrage by one of my dear cousins on facebook *waves at Mark*. I don't know if he thinks he's actually changing my mind or if he's just punishing me for voting the way I did... probably the later, knowing him.

I could write about my kids and they are a great topic. They are interesting, intelligent, fun little people, but then I have to worry about what kind of information I'm putting out there. I tend to be a bit too honest at times. And then there is just the plan old simple truth of not knowing what to say.

And that is where I'll end this entry, gentle reader... I'm.. uh.... spent?

P.S. I really LOATHE country music. (is that controversial enough?)