I've decided that I'm not a very good blogger. I care too much about what others think to really ever put down my true inner dialog. But perhaps, that's not the point of a blog, that's a journals duty. I do know that I'm grateful for blogs. I've gotten to know family and friends in a way I don't know if I would have ever been able to through another method. And I'm not good at getting to know people, especially in a setting with a lot of people. I have difficulty just letting my personality come through in those situations. I think I'm a good friend if you are close to me, though I'm still prone to bouts of duh speak. You know, those moments you says stuff just to be talking and what comes out isn't what you intended or really even feel? Yeah, I do that. :-/
The last few months have been difficult honestly. And going beyond saying that has turned into a repetitive series of typing and mass deleting. I don't know how much to say, if anything. I'm a very introspective kind of person, and I think it would be so liberating to be able to express some of my thoughts and perspectives, but at the same time, I've had experiences that have shown that it's not worth doing. Not worth the drama it causes. The unrest in my heart that follows. So here I am, beating around the bush, causing the few people who read this to wonder what in the world is up with me. Lol!
So probably the superficial Amy stuff is best. And I have some great superficial stuff. Pictures of the kids and what we're up to as a family. Leaving out any of the "drama" causing thoughts and feelings that gives any depth to who I am and what I feel. I think that's why I'm a crappy blogger. It's just too exhausting.
